Piano Lessons
by YouMayKnowMeAsAngel
Summary: Lily Evans has always wanted to learn how to play the piano. However, she realizes things might get a bit difficult once she finds that her instructor is no other than James Potter, the boy who can't seem to take no for an answer. Non-magic fic, lots of Jilly because I love the couple. Warning: Some content may not be suitable for some readers, such as inappropriate jokes.
1. A meeting

Lily had always thought that the piano was a beautiful instrument, elegant and almost alive with the sound that flowed from it. Even now, she couldn't keep herself from staring at the ivory keys, marveling at the contrast between the black and the white. She was almost tempted to press her finger to one of the notes, just to hear the music that was hidden behind the black gleaming surface.

She didn't though. She would wait for her instructor to arrive before she so much as thought about playing the instrument.

Lily swiveled around on the piano stool, taking in the room around her. It was small and a bit cramped, the piano taking up most of the space. It was really the back room of a music store, the owner of whom allowed piano lessons to occur in. Lily recalled entering the store moments earlier, and she smirked a bit as she replayed what had happened in her head.

Lily had pushed open the door, and the sound of wind chimes caught her attention. It was in the middle of a windless summer day, yet the wind chimes in the music store rang automatically when the door opened. It was charming, if a bit strange.

The store was tiny and cluttered with instruments. There was hardly a path through the shop that wasn't interrupted by a cello or a drum of some sort. Lily craned her neck, searching for the owner over the mounds of instruments. There she found her by the violins, the only other person in the store besides Lily.

Ms. Trelawney was dressed very much like an American hippie. Her wild hair was pulled back with the use of many multicolored scarves, and her dress seemed to be completely dyed by hand. She wore huge round glasses that took up most of her face, giving her an insect like appearance.

"Ms. Trelawney?" Lily called over a keyboard.

Ms. Trelawney started, almost dropping the sheet music she had been reading. She looked around frantically for a moment before her giant eyes came to rest on Lily. Her lips parted in shock for a moment, as if astonished to find an actual person inside her store. She quickly straightened and spoke in a strange, mystic like whisper. "Can I help you, dear?"

Lily smiled brightly and adjusted the strap of her shoulder bag. "Yes, I'm here for my music lesson?"

Ms. Trelawney seemed puzzled, so Lily tried to remind her.

"Um, I'm Lily Evans. You talked to my parents on the phone, about the open piano room and the instructor?"

The older woman blinked twice, than smiled a bit. "Ah, yes, now I remember! The young pupil, desperate for the joy that the piano can provide!" She flapped her hands around as she talked, and Lily hoped that she wouldn't knock an instrument over in the process. "It always brings a smile to my face when I hear of a soul who wishes to enrich their life with the power of music! The piano is simply magical, I can assure you."

Lily nodded politely, noting the smell of cooked sherry that seemed to waft from the older woman.

Ms. Trelawney glanced at the door to her shop with a wider smile. "I'm sure that the instructor I have chosen will be perfect for you needs."

Lily shifted her feet. "Is the instructor here?" She looked around the store, searching for another person among the many gleaming instruments.

"Oh no, he has not arrived yet. You can wait for him in the piano room." She gestured towards a door in the back with a long arm.

Lily nodded and began to weave her way to the door, trying hard not to bump into anything. When she finally reached her destination (after almost knocking over a large golden gong) she paused before putting her hand on the doorknob. "Do you know what the instructor's name is?" She asked Ms. Trelawney, curious about who would be teaching her.

The shop owner frowned and put a ring covered finger to her chin. "Well, I have only met the young man a few times. He is about your age, and an excellent musician, really quite talented. I believe that his first name is James, but I cannot be sure."

Lily froze at that. Surely she did not mean James Potter, the arrogant prick from her high school that seemed hell bent on making her life miserably embarrassing? She had not seen him since the last day of her third year at Hogwarts, which had been two weeks ago. Lily was happy to think of an entire summer term without dealing with the likes of James Potter.

Ms. Trelawney, probably noticing Lily's reaction, cocked her head to one side in an almost comical look of confusion. "Is something the matter dear?"

Lily quickly shook her head, brushing off her fears. "No, thank you, I'm fine." She opened the door while flashing a quick smile, her mind whirling. Ms. Trelawney could not mean James Potter. He would never agree to teaching piano lessons, and the mere thought of him actually being able to play the piano was inconceivable to Lily.

Now, as she waited for her instructor to come, Lily thought once more of her moment of doubt. James was, after all, a common name. It surely was just a coincidence. Plus, Ms. Trelawney had told her that the instructor was very talented. The thought of James Potter being talented at anything besides being the worlds biggest idiot made Lily snort with laughter.

So, she put any more thoughts of James Potter out of her mind. Lily reached behind her to tighten her pony tail, glancing down at her tee shirt and shorts. She hoped that her clothing choice was appropriate for the lesson. She looked up at the clock that was hanging on the wall. She had been waiting now for ten minutes. Lily frowned, hoping her instructor did not make a habit of being late.

Her phone buzzed in her back pocket, and Lily took it out to glance at the screen. She sighed. Another message from Marlene, of course. She pressed the power button with a forceful bit of finality, not wanting to bother with her best friend until after her hour lesson was over.

As she was putting the phone back into her pocket, her bag fell to the ground, spilling out her jacket and some old sheet music underneath the piano. Lily sighed, and bent down to clean it up just as the door to the piano room opened.

"I'm sorry I'm late, I might of accidentally forgot about the lesson." A male voice said.

Lily, who was now crouched under the piano in a slightly embarrassing position, tried to look over her shoulder. "Oh, it's fine. I'm sorry, I'll be up in a moment, I just dropped my jacket under here…"

The footsteps in the room stopped immediately at her voice, and the door closed with a small click.

"Evans?!"

At the sound of her last name, Lily jumped and bumped her head on the piano. She scrambled to her feet while rubbing her head, trying to ignore the pain. There was only one person on the planet who called her by her last name, and that person was….

"_Potter?!_"

There he stood in front of the door, staring at her with look of shocked amusement. He was as tall as ever, almost towering over Lily in his height. His hair was as stubbornly messy as she had remembered, his glasses slightly crooked on his nose. His hazel eyes were wide as he took her in, the same eyes that had many girls at her school swooning over his smiles. He looked strange without his uniform, now just wearing a red tee shirt and baggy jeans.

He smirked at her, flashing his white teeth.

Lily, who had finally seemed to have found her voice, asked the first question that came to her mind. "What on earth are _you_ doing here?!"

James shrugged, his smirk growing. "I'm here to teach a piano lesson. What are you doing here?"

Lily's eyes widened, her worst fears coming true. "No, this is not happening, this is not _possible_!" She muttered to herself, putting one hand to her forehead.

James cocked an eyebrow, looking her up and down. He noticed the sheet music that she was holding in one hand, and the resulting grin took up half of his face. "Wait, don't tell me, _you're _the one who I'm supposed to be teaching?"

Lily, seeing the grin, immediately flared up with the anger that she reserved just for James Potter. She glared at him. "This has to be one of your stupid jokes, Potter! Well, I can tell you right now that it is not funny. How did you even find out that I was going to take piano lessons?"

James rolled his eyes, but the smile stayed on his face. Lily chose to ignore how handsome he looked when he smiled, because it really didn't matter to her at all.

"It's not a joke, Evans. I'm actually here to teach piano. I had no idea that I was going to be teaching you."

Lily scoffed, refusing to believe him.

"Look, if you really don't believe me, you can march right outside and ask Ms. Trelawney. She called me up when she heard that you needed an instructor. I used to work here." James folded his arms across his chest, leaning against the door with an air of complete arrogance. "I got to say though, I wasn't really looking forward to the lessons. Until now that is." He looked her up and down again, showing no signs of decency as he eyed her legs. "Nice shorts, Evans."

Lily flushed with embarrassment and anger. She snatched her shoulder bag off the ground with a huff, and started to march towards the door without looking him. When he didn't move away from the door though, she was forced to look up at his still smirking face. "Get out of my way, Potter."

He chuckled, ignoring her anger. "That's no way to treat your instructor. Would you mind rephrasing that to, 'Please get out of my way, _Mr._ Potter?'"

Lily rolled her eyes, and went to push him away. He stopped her with a hand to her shoulder, and she immediately swatted him away. "Don't touch me." She snarled.

James sighed, running a hand through his already messy hair. "Look, Evans, do me a favor and just calm down for at least ten seconds."

Lily continued to glare at him. "Why should I?"

James threw his hands up in the air. "Gee, I don't know, maybe because I really haven't done anything to upset you?!"

Lily opened her mouth to chide him, but he beat her to the punch.

"Alright, just hear me out. You want to learn how to play the piano, and I would like a summer job. All other instructors are off on vacation for at least four more weeks, so I'm really the only choice you have."

Lily blinked in surprise. "Really? Everyone else is unavailable?"

James shrugged again, leaning back against the door. "Well, everyone except Snape, but I figured that….you know…." He glanced down at her awkwardly, noticing her sharp intake of breath at the mention of her ex-best friend.

Lily refused to meet his eyes as the memory of her last conversation with Sev swam before hers. "I see…" She muttered. Lily had known that Sev played the piano, but she had shied away from asking him about teaching her. Besides, she didn't really want to see him again, not after what had happened.

"I'm sorry." James said, causing green eyes to snap up to brown ones.

After a moment, she spoke in a voice that was flat of any emotion. "It's fine."

He cleared his throat as silence enveloped the pair, neither of them knowing quite what to say.

Lily broke the silence. "So, you're my only choice?" She looked him over, noting for the first time how long and graceful his fingers seemed to be, almost perfectly made for playing.

James nodded. "Yup. I'm your last hope."

Lilly took in a deep breath, thinking over her options. She really didn't want to be in the same room with Potter for any amount of time, but then again, it was only an hour a week. Plus, it wasn't like she could go anywhere else, without of course meant spending a ton of money. Still, she was nervous about being in such a close proximity with him, knowing that he would try to make a move on her with every chance he had. It would be harder to avoid him when they were the only two people in the room.

"You know, you really shouldn't pass judgment until you've heard me play." James taunted, interrupting her thoughts.

Lily glanced up at him, and the smile he wore now was a bit softer than his usual arrogant one. His eyes really did look lovely when he smiled like that, and she found herself nodding despite her previous thoughts.

James' smile grew, and he immediately loped over to the piano bench. He glanced at Lily as he sat, making sure she was still watching him as he pressed his hands into the first few keys.

The following song was magnificent. Lily had never heard it before, though it seemed strangely familiar in a weird way. The song that he played seemed to flow and stretch alongside his fingers, which danced over the keys of their own accord. Lily was shocked to find that he closed his eyes while he played, not watching his hands at all. He made no mistake that Lily could hear, and the look of calming peace on his face seemed to fill the entire room along with his music. The melody was happy and sad, slow and fast, bitter and joyful, all at the same time. Lily was amazed. How on earth could this boy, the bane of her existence, create such beautiful music? The reason escaped her as she watched James Potter play.

The song was short, but it seemed to play on when he finished, still ringing in Lily's ears. James turned to look at her when he was done, flashing a triumphant smile at her shocked expression. "What do you think?"

Lily shut her mouth, realizing that it was hanging open. "That was…amazing." She stated, shocked by her own words.

James' smile grew, and Lily knew she had to start talking again before he said something that would probably embarrass her.

"Alright, if we are going to do this, let me lay down a few rules."

James rolled his eyes, but Lily continued.

"First off, no touching unless absolutely necessary." Her mind wandered back to how he would touch her during school, casually brushing her thigh if they sat next to each other, patting her shoulder when he passed her in the halls.

She kept talking before he could comment. "Also, don't talk to me about anything besides music, or the piano, or something along those lines. Inside this room, we will be like teacher and student."

James smirked. "So, does that mean that you will call me Mr. Potter?"

Lilly glared at him, and he showed the palms of his hands in sign of defensiveness, though the act was completely ruined by his teasing expression.

"And another thing, no teasing remarks, alright? I have to deal with enough of that during the school year."

James scoffed. "I never tease you! I merely compliment you!"

"Yes, in embarrassing ways! I don't want to hear about how smooth my legs look while I'm trying to learn how to play the piano." Her pinks grew warm at her own words, and James certainly noticed.

"Fine then."

Lily frowned, placing her hands on her hips. "So, you understand my demands?"

James nodded. "Yup. No funny business. Just piano."

Lily smiled a bit. "Right." She ignored the warnings in her head, trying to convince herself that James wouldn't be a problem.

"But, I do have a few rules of my own."

Lily frowned again, a crease forming in between her eyebrows at the thought of the rules that James Potter would come up with.

The boy held up a finger, seeing the look on her face. "Don't freak out, they're not pervy. I keep _those_ rules to myself." He winked, and chuckled a bit at her expression. "Ok, rule number one. Don't call me Potter."

Lily moved her hands from her hips so that she could fold her arms across her chest. "So, you want me to call you by your first name?"

James nodded. "Bingo. And I, in return, will call you Lily." He pressed a hand to his chest with an air of refinement.

Lily winced. She didn't like the way that he said her name. No, it wasn't the way he said it, it was just the fact that he was saying it. Calling her by her first name seemed a bit too intimate, and the thought of that made Lily uncomfortable. Of course, she wasn't going to fool herself into thinking that the boy actually liked her in that way. She knew that all of this begging her to go out with him was just a big joke, a laugh with his friends. He got a kick out of making her flustered, and he knew that by calling her by her first name would unnerve her. Lily could see his plan in that stupid grin of his. She couldn't refuse his rule without him asking the "Why not?" question, because then she would have to explain.

So, she was stuck.

"Alright." She finally spoke.

James blinked in surprise. "What?"

"I said alright. I'll call you by your first name."

He stared at her for a long moment, before that dumb grin returned. "Alright then, _Lily_."

Lily, noticing the dark emphasis he had put on her name, decided to ignore it. She also decided to ignore the stupid little flutter that her heart did when he said it like that. It was expected, only a normal human reaction to a handsome boy saying her name in that fashion. It meant nothing.

She cleared her throat. "Ok, so, should we get started?"

James shook his head. "Oh no. I have one more rule."

"Oh please, what else could you-"

"No fighting."

That made Lily stop. "Sorry?"

"You heard me."

She searched his face. The smile was gone now, replaced with a serious look that startled Lily. He wasn't joking now, not fooling around in the slightest. It unbalanced her to see James acting this way. "I don't think that I…"

James let out a huff of exasperation. "Don't act coy. You always get mad at me for some reason."

"For _good_ reasons!"

He pointed a finger at her accusingly. "See?! Right there! You always do that."

She stared at him in shock, not quite comprehending what he was trying to say. True, she did often get mad when she was around James, but she always assumed that she had a right to. However, Lily never really considered the effects that she might have on him. Perhaps she could be a bit cruel…once in awhile.

"Ok, I'll try not to get…upset, with you." She forced her voice to remain flat as she spoke.

James bobbed his head. "Appreciate it."

Lily shifted her weight, slowly unfolding her arms. "So, should we start the lesson?"

"Oh no. Not today." James got up immediately, straightening his shirt.

Lily blinked in surprise. "What?! But I'm here for-"

"Yes, I know what you're here for." He said, heading for the door. "But I'm afraid that I have some urgent family business to attend to, and I was only planning to come for a few minutes in order to meet my student." James smiled at Lily, obviously loving the term "my student".

Lily was angry, but remembering his rule, she forced herself to calm down. "Find." She snapped. "I'll see you next Saturday then?"

James sighed, putting a hand to his chest. "Oh, how long have I waited to hear those words from your lips, Lily Evans."

She pointed a finger at him. "Remember, no teasing remarks James."

He grinned and opened the door, obviously ignoring what she said because of what she had called him. James. Not Potter, James. It struck Lily as a bit weird, but almost a good weird.

He held the door open for her. "After you."

"Cheers." She adjusted her bag and marched out of the room, trying to keep some of her dignity intact.

James followed her through the store, the two of them finding a path through the instruments. He held the other door open for her as well, though Lily expected he was just trying to show how far he was willing to go in order to make this work.

Once they were out of the door, Lily turned to say a crisp and quick goodbye to James, only to find that he was much closer to her than she had known, well within her personal bubble of space.

He flashed his white teeth down at her, running a hand through his hair. "So, Lily, fancy going out with me on Friday?"

Lily blinked in surprise, her cheeks turning warm. She took a step back from him, a bit speechless. "But, you said that-"

"Yeah, but I believe that your exact words were 'Inside this _room_, we will be like teacher and student'. You said nothing about what could happen once we were outside the piano room." Her smiled triumphantly at his little loop hole.

Lily brought her eyes to the sky, shaking her head. She should of known that he would try pulling something like this on her. After all, a tiger doesn't change his stripes. "No, Potter, I will not go out with you." She told him, deciding that the James/Potter rule also only applied while inside the room.

James' smile faltered a bit at the return of his last name, but he snapped right back. "Do I detect a hint of politeness in your tone?"

Lily huffed and turned on her heel. As she marched away, she heard the idiot call after her.

"Don't worry, Evans! I'm sure everything about this will be absolutely fine!"

Lilly rolled her eyes. Somehow, she doubted it.


	2. Reactions

A/N: Hi there, internet world. First off, I want to clear up a few things about this fic that I probably should have mentioned in the first chapter. As stated in the summary, this is a non-magic fic. It is also a modern day fic, but the characters will stay in the Marauder age stage. (I hope that made sense. I can't write and think at the same time.) Also, as a bit of a heads up, I will be posting AN's before every chapter in order to introduce warnings about the chapter or to share any general information about the upcoming chapter. Feel free to skip ahead of them if that's not your thing, feel no shame in that.

Important! I will not update this regularly, just whenever my brain decides it needs a good dose of Jilly to keep it functioning.

Oh, also, I do a little bit of a Marlene/Sirius pairing in this story as well. (Ok, a lot of Marlene/Sirus). Don't know who Marlene McKinnon is? Look her up on a Harry Potter Wiki site, although the fans make up most of her story.

** Warning for chapter: **Swearing and sexual jokes. It's all within a T rating, I assure you.

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James didn't know what he wanted to do.

Half of his brain wanted to roar in victory from the rooftops of Godric city. He wanted to let the world know that Lily Evans had agreed to talk to him on a _first name basis_. This wasn't just big, this was revolutionary! He felt as though his smile was going to split his face in two as he watched the red head walk away, his eyes following her every step.

However, the other, saner half of his brain was telling him to call off the piano lessons as soon as possible. At this realization, his smile receded a bit. Being in the same room with Evans a hour a week was fantastic, a huge development, but was it wise? James had always imagined that one day Lily would just, you know, _get it_. She would magically fall in love with him, and then everything would be perfect.

Of course, James did know that things never worked that way, especially when Evans was involved. Everything was suddenly so bloody difficult once Lily walked into the room. He was worried that (seeing as she already hated him) being in the same room with her, and _only_ her, would be a bit dangerous. She obviously wasn't keen on doing this, no matter what James diluted himself into thinking.

Still, seeing her in that piano room had been a wonderful surprise for James.

He had come to Trelawney's music shop in a dull mood. She had called up his mother the other night, asking if "young mister Potter" was available to teach a young girl at her store. James had agreed, but only because he needed the money. Sirius, who was staying at his house, had laughed at him. His best mate figured that he would get stuck with some whiney rich kid, which James had thought was probably correct. So, he was glad when his mother informed him of the big family dinner that they were having that night, the one that he couldn't miss. Therefore, he would only have time to meet his student at the store and arrange a regular meeting session. Then he would smile, and leave.

But to see Lily Evans crouched under that piano, not wearing her prudish school uniform? That had woken him up immediately.

Starting up a conversation had been easier than it usually was, but he credited that to the fact that there were really no other distractions in the room. Yes, she had been mad, but she seemed a little flustered as well. Flustered was good. Flustered he could work with.

So, as he watched Lily have a battle of wills with herself, he made a silent promise to not let her out of the room until he had convinced her that him teaching her was a wonderful idea.

Ok, so maybe not a _wonderful _idea. More like a last resort.

He hadn't been lying about the unavailability of the other teachers. As it was still early in summer vacation, everyone who had an abundance of money and a life was off on some exotic escape to a far away island. James had both a life and an abundance of cash in his family, but they didn't go on many vacations, and that was certainly fine with James.

He would be spending the summer with Lily Evans, and that was better than whatever an exotic island had to offer.

Plus, he wasn't about to let Snape teach Lily. Ex-friends or not, that slime ball was not going anywhere near her if he had anything to say about it.

On that satisfying thought, he turned away from the music store and began the long walk home.

His phone buzzed after a couple of steps, and he slipped it out of his pocket to read a text from Sirius.

** So how was it? Please tell me she had braces.**

James smirked, remembering his friend's tauntings from earlier. He began to tap in his own message.

** No braces. She had really pretty red hair. Lovely green eyes, name starts with a L…**

He counted the seconds until a reply. He reached four when his phone buzzed again.

** Don't tell me. Please DON'T tell me that it's who I think it is.**

James smirked.

** Well, who do you think it is?**

** Don't mess with me Potter. If you're trying to tell me that you have Evans as your student, I swear to God…**

** And I thought that you weren't a religious man.**

The resulting reply exploded from his phone in no less than two seconds.

** God DAMMIT Prongs! You got Evans!? You sodding BASTARD! I can't believe this! What did she do when you walked in the room? What is she even doing there?!**

James started his usual habit of texting and walking at the same time. He didn't worry about his surroundings. Being an excellent rugby player helped with his reaction time.

** Padfoot. Breath.**

** YOU'RE telling me to breath Potter? What about you? Shouldn't you be hyperventilating at the moment?**

** Nah. I'm good. Really good, actually.**

** Tell me. I need details, now.**

** Good Lord you're beginning to sound like a teenage girl. You've been spending way to much time with Marlene.**

** Don't change the subject. Tell me.**

** Nothing much to tell. I came in, she was crouching under the piano, she got mad, blushed, then agreed to let me teach her. I guess you can say I charmed her into it.**

** Right. Didn't you tell me yesterday that no other teacher was available?**

** Well, yeah. Besides Snape.**

** Like you're gonna let Snivelus teach her. You didn't tell her about him, did you?**

** I did.**

** Wait, what? What was her reaction?**

** Seriously Sirus? After the fight they just had? The fight that YOU yourself witnessed? **

** So she chose you over him?**

** Yeah, but I wouldn't read too much into it. She hates him more than me at the moment.**

** Wow. She must really loath him then.**

** Sod off. She liked hearing me play.**

** Prongs, everyone likes hearing you play mate. Still, you have me at a bit of a bit put off. Shouldn't you be telling me "it's only a matter of time" and all the usual nonsense?**

** I don't want to jinx this. I figure that this is the best chance I'll get. Just Lily and me, all alone in a piano room, no one else to talk to…**

James decided not to mention how he had promised to talk to her as a student. He could see several ways around that promise. Evans would just have to learn that rules were made to be broken, and she was the one that was going to do it. James had a plan.

His phone buzzed again with Sirus' reply.

** Right, keep me out of your wet dream please. I'm gonna go tell Moony and Wormtail. See you when you get home.**

** You're going to tell Marlene, aren't you?**

No reply.

** Sirus?**

** Sirus, don't you dare tell Marlene!**

** Sirus you little bugger if you tell her I'm going to give you hell when I get home!**

** Sirus!**

After a few more texts like that, James gave up with a huff. Of course Sirus was going to tell Marlene McKinnon. The two of them had been scheming to hook Lily and him up since God knows when. He didn't mind it at first, but it had started messing with his own plans. Also, he suspected that Sirus was just using it as an excuse to talk to Marlene. The two of them had the strangest relationship dynamic James had ever seen, which was saying a lot coming from him.

It sometimes seemed as though Sirus and Marlene hated each other, but people who were close to them knew that they were crazy about each other. They still hated though. Both of them brought so much baggage, ego and snarkiness into play that they continued to push each other away with every meeting. Yet, they kept coming back. It was almost as if the two idiots couldn't keep away.

Must be the hormones.

James glanced down at his phone. 5:45. If he hurried, he would reach home before his mother set the table. He could rat Sirus out then.

His best friend had moved into his house three months ago. He had ran away from his own home because of "emotional teenage shit", or at least that was how Sirus put it. James and his family suspected that it had something to do with his younger brother and his parents, but they didn't ask anything. Sirus was almost an adult, and he was already looking for his own apartment. In the meantime, James' mother was happy to lend him a spare room in their house.

James reached his house at 6:00, and judging by the greeting that his mother gave him at the front porch, Sirus had told her all about his new student.

The bastard.

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The following is a text conversation between Marlene and Sirus. Please note that the texts in bold are from Sirus, and the texts in italics are from Marlene.

** Marlene.**

** Marlene.**

** Marlene.**

** Marlene.**

_ What is it Sirus? I'm a bit busy at the moment._

** Please, what could be more interesting than me?**

_ Spit it out Padfoot. I haven't got all bloody day._

** Oooh touchy. By the way, don't call me Padfoot. Only my mates call me that.**

_ Then what the hell am I? Your pen pal? Your next door neighbor?_

** Try arch enemy. Or do you think you can handle the commintment? ;)**

_ Sirus, just tell me already. _

** Huh. I don't like your tone Maybe I won't. **

_ Really? Well, now I'm getting the feeling that you're just doing this so that you can talk to me. _

** Don't flatter yourself Marlene. Your boobs aren't that big.**

_ You would know, Mr. Push-Up Bra_

** If you're referring to the clothes switching dare from Amelia's birthday party, I'll have you know that seeing Amy Klemmings wear my tee-shirt without a female undergarment underneath was quite rewarding. **

_ My dear Sirus, I was referring to your everyday attire. It's common knowledge that your collection of braziers is quite expansive._

** I think that you will find that all of those "braziers" do not belong to me. At least two of them are yours.**

_ Only two? How insulting. Still, you've kept them all this time. I always knew you were sentimental, but this is just sad._

** You're one to talk about sad. I do believe that your last breakup required two boxes of double fudge cookies?**

_ Please. Todd McCann was hardly worth three of those cookies, and if I recall, I broke up with him. Now, get on with it Sirus. This conversation is boring me._

** Keep your panties up, although that may be a bit tough for you. Did Evans tell you who her piano instructor was?**

_ Evans? Oh right, you mean Lily. Really, will you ever call her by her first name? _

_ And no, she didn't tell me. Why do you ask?_

** Did you know that James is a piano instructor?**

_ Wait, what?_

** Oh come now McKinnon. You're smart. Slightly.**

_ If you're trying to tell me that James Potter is Lily Evan's piano instructor…_

** Yup. On the nosey.**

_ FINALLY! This is like a sign! God must be telling these two stubborn asses to hook up already!_

** I think you'll find that Evans is the only stubborn ass in this situation. James is more than willing. Really, you should hear how he talks about her. The least she could do is be gentle with her negativity.**

_ Watch it Black. That's my best friend you're talking about there._

** I could say the same to you. Can't we just agree that they're both idiots in this situation?**

_ Fine. But tell your James that he better not do anything he will later regret. If he hurts her in any way, I will make sure that his remaining high school career will be a miserable one._

** Noted. And the same for Evans.**

_ Noted. Are we still going through with the plan?_

** You mean The Stag and Doe plan? Of course. Should we keep the birthday party as the climax?**

_ Of course. I wasn't planning on changing that._

** Good. Oh, just to make sure, am I invited?**

_ My dear Sirus, I thought you would never ask._

** You're answer?**

_ Of course, you dumb sod. You're always invited._

** Am I hearing a bit of fondness in your texts McKinnon?**

_ Not exactly. Every girl knows that she has to invite Sirus Black to her birthday party. Then the party becomes official._

** Oh stop it. You're making me blush.**

_ If I recall, it doesn't take much._

** Ha ha. See you around McKinnon.**

_ Ta Ta Black._


	3. Conversations with Idiots

A/N: I was really surprised that people actually enjoy this fic. It kinda seemed like a dumb idea to me, but whatcha gonna do? (Write more chapters, duh!)

In this one we learn a bit about Lily's home life and friends. There's a little of Jilly interaction at the very end, but you might not want to skip ahead. This chapter holds a lot of useful information, as well as a phone conversation with Marlene.

** Warning: **Swearing and sexual jokes, all very mild.

Lily was enjoying a nice evening of television and Chinese food when her mobile buzzed. She let out a sigh, knowing immediately who was probably contacting her. She decided to ignore the alert, but her phone continued to vibrate. That meant that she was receiving a call, not a text. Lily paused the cop show that she had been watching, and reached for her mobile. She frowned, staring at the called id on the screen. It was Marlene, as Lily had expected. However, Marlene never called when she had the option to text. Something was up.

Lily pressed "answer", and held the mobile up to her ear. "Hello?"

"What are you doing at this moment?" Marlene's crisp voice demanded, not even bothering with greetings.

Lily smiled, setting aside her carton of Chinese food before responding with exaggerated cheer. "Oh, hello Marlene! I'm fine, glad you asked."

"What are you doing right now, Lily?" Marlene repeated.

Lily sighed, glancing around her home. "I'm watching TV on my couch and eating junk. Why do you ask?"

Instead of answering, Marlene asked another question. "So, you're not doing anything important?"

"Um, unless you call stuffing my face with Chinese food important…"

"Nothing life altering?"

"What? No."

"You're not in danger or something?"

"No, why on earth would I be?"

"You're not on you death bed?"

"Marlene, what are you talking about? I told you, I'm fine." Lily could hear her friend take in long, audible breath.

"Then why the bloody _hell_, did you not text me about _James sodding Potter being your new piano instructor_?!"

Lily winced, holding her phone a couple of inches away from her ear. Unfortunately, Marlene was not finished.

"Seriously Lily, what the _hell_? You said so yourself that you're not doing anything important, and if you're not dying or some other worthy excuse, then why was I not informed of Potter immediately? WHY?!"

Lily blushed, both from embarrassment and annoyance. "Marlene, relax." She tried to use a calming tone.

Marlene let out a sound that sounded like a mix between a scoff and a laugh. "I will NOT relax! I want answers!"

Lily sat up on her couch, a sudden thought striking her. "Wait, Marlene, how did you know about Potter?" Lily could not remember telling anyone about her piano lesson. In fact, she had made a point not to. No one had seen her on the bus ride home, and even if someone had, they wouldn't have been able to figure out where she had just been, or who she had been with. So, if she hadn't told anyone, that could only mean that Potter must have told someone, and she had a feeling she knew who that someone was.

The other phone line was silent for a moment.

"I have my sources." Marlene said evasively before adding, "That's not an answer, Lily."

Lily grit her teeth. "I don't care. How did you find out about Potter?"

"That's not important."

Lily huffed. "It bloody well is, and you know it."

Marlene sighed dramatically. "If I tell you who told me, then will you give me the details that I so desperately need?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Yes, fine, just tell me!"

Marlene giggled, most likely making fun of Lily's annoyance. (Bitch.)

"It was Black."

Lily's eyebrows rose. "What?"

"You heard me."

"Oh no. Oh _no_!" Lily clasped a hand to her forehead, gritting her teeth in anger. If Black knew, it was probably halfway around the teenage gossip loop. "Screw Potter! Screw him to the deepest pits of hell!"

Marlene chuckled. "Now, I know that you've always wanted to screw Potter, but don't you think that's taking it a bit too far?"

Lily gasped, but she couldn't stop herself from smirking a bit. "Have you lost your mind?! I would never _touch _Potter, much less…you know…"

Marlene sighed. "Look at you, you can't even say it."

"Not all of us are pervy minded, Marlene." Lily reprimanded.

"Yeah, and we're not all hypocrites either."

Lily frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"You! Just seconds ago you were telling me that you would never touch Potter, and yet he's your _piano instructor_?! If that's not hypocrisy, then I don't know what is."

Lily leaned back on the couch with a huff. "Marlene, he's my piano instructor, not my secret lover. We have a strict teacher and student relationship."

"Ah, but does Potter know that?" It was easy to hear the smirk in Marlene's voice.

Lily's thoughts drifted back to earlier that day. She smiled, remembering her argument with Potter. "Yes, I believe that I made that fact perfectly clear to him."

Her friend sighed. "Oh, I bet you did. Still, there must have been other instructors available, right?" Marlene's tone picked up with hope.

Lily instinctively winced, but she didn't shy away from the answer. "Nope. Potter was the only one."

"Really? The only one?"

Lily nodded and bit her lip, then remembered that Marlene couldn't see her, and answered out loud instead. "Yeah…well, there was one other person…"

"And who was that?"

Lily paused a moment before giving in with a slight sigh. "Sev."

The silence that followed was long and obvious. Lily didn't blame Marlene. After all, what had happened between Lily and Severus had never sat well with her friend.

Oh, who was she kidding. Marlene and Severus loathed each other from the moment they first met. The could hardly stand to be in the same room without stabbing/punching/kicking/emotionally damaging/physically damaging/maiming/assaulting the other person. So, Lily had taken to hanging out with Sev and Marlene separately, at least until The Fight. The Fight was the incident which had forced Lily to realize how her friend really saw her, and who he really was.

But, she was over that now.

Or, perhaps she wasn't. After all, she still used his old nickname while talking about him to other people. Sev. That's what he was to her. Sev, always Sev. No matter how mad she was at him, he would always be the boy whom she had befriended as a child over the summer.

It was pathetic, and Lily knew it.

Finally, Marlene broke the silence. "So, you would never touch Potter, huh?"

Lily sighed, but went along with her friend's lousy attempt to change the subject. "Never."

"Never ever?"

"Never in a million years."

"What if he was the last boy on earth?"

"Of course not!"

"Why not? You have to admit that he's attractive. Why pass up the opportunity if you're the only humans on the planet?"

Lily sighed in exasperation. "_Because_, being the only boy on the face of the planet would not eliminate the fact that he would still be James Potter. And, since I do not consider Potter a…candidate, for romantic interest, his physical appearance would have no effect of me whatsoever."

There was silence on the other line. Lily allowed herself a small smile of satisfaction. Perhaps she had finally stumped her friend's outrageous assumptions of a relationship with Potter.

Unfortunately, Lily wasn't that lucky.

"So, you do admit that Potter is attractive?" Marlene teased.

Lily furrowed her eyebrows and lifted her legs so that she could lie on the couch, her head propped up on an armrest. "Marlene, his looks have nothing to do with the chance of him becoming my boyfriend."

"Ah HA! So you _do_ find him attractive!"

Lily groaned. There's no point in arguing with you is there?" She sighed in defeat.

"Nope. Not when the two of you are practically made for each other."

Lily opened her mouth to argue some more, but she thought of a different tactic. Smiling, she spoke in a teasing tone. "Just like how you are practically made for Sirus?"

"Sirus? As in Black?" Marlene scoffed. "Please Lily, don't make me laugh."

"Hmm, laughing. A well known symptom of _denial_."

Marlene let out a heavy sigh. "My dear, you insult me. If you think that I'm dumb enough to go after Black, then you're pathetic and boring."

"Oh stop bluffing! Anyone can see that you two are crazy about each other! Always flirting and what not…"

"Lily, the flirting game that Black and I partake in is all about power play. The first one who backs down and gets uncomfortable looses. Both of us understand that. Besides, Sirus has several attributes that I find thoroughly off-putting, and the fact that you would even suggest-"

"Marly and Sirus sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Lily sang, cutting through her friend's rant.

"Really Lily?" Marlene asked, her voice low with displeasure. She sounded as though she was scolding a small child, which Lily found a bit funny, as Marlene was the least mature of the pair.

"What?" Lily asked innocently.

"Sod off. And don't call me Marly. That's a dog's name."

"Really? You have the right to tell me what not to call you? I tell you not to call me 'Lily Flower' at least three times a day, and you never listen!"

"Well, you really shouldn't be complaining to me. I'm not the on who came up with the nickname."

Lily bit her tongue, refusing to fall into her friend's trap.

Marlene tutted. "Let's see…I believe that it was the start of our first year in Hogwarts, and you wore that pretty little dress with the flower print. Poor James took one look at it, and 'Lily Flower' was born. Pardon me for giving into the conformity. Everyone else calls you that, to this day."

"Honestly, the name isn't even that creative." Lily grumbled. "My name is literally the name of a flower. He didn't need to see my dress to come up with the nickname."

"But this is _Potter_ we're talking about here. He was probably just looking for an excuse to use your first name without you blowing up about 'personal interactions' or some shit like that."

Lily contemplated that, remembering the name rule Potter had created for her piano lesson. "Yeah, you're probably right."

Marlene huffed. "Of _course_ I'm right! I can practically smell these things. You and James are meant to be."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Get off your stupid pedastool. Oh, actually, speaking of Potter, do you have his phone number?" She instantly regretted asking.

Marlene _whooped _with excitement, gasping into the mobile.

Lily hurried to explain herself, "No! It's not what you think! I would like to yell at him for telling Black about the lesson! I don't want anyone to know!" She could practically hear Marlene deflate.

"So, no one will get the wrong impression?" Her friend asked sarcastically.

Lily settled down into the couch. "Exactly."

"That's stupid."

"You're stupid."

"Not as stupid as you look!"

"I heard that's how your mother says goodnight to you!"

"At least she doesn't make me put a bag over my face before kissing my cheek!"

Pretty soon, the were both fighting a tidal wave of hysterical giggles. The two friends laughed at their own stupidity, happy to let the mood lighten up a bit.

Marlene was the first to calm down, with a heavy sigh. "So, you really want his number?"

Lily let out one last little snort. "Yeah, but don't get any ideas. Also, do me a favor and don't tell anyone about the lessons."

"What?! Not even the girls?"

The girls, as Marlene called them, were the other females in their small pack of pals, Alice and Tina. Of course, Lily had other friends, and Marlene had dozens upon dozens, but none were closer than the little pact that was created throughout the years of school. In order of which Lily had met them, they were as follows: Marlene McKinnon, Alice Inera, and Tina Foslin. The slut, The Heart, and The Brain.

Of course, these nicknames were only part of a game played at a sleepover last year. They decided to copy the Marauder's idea of nicknames, and went about naming each other based on their characteristics,

Marlene was The Slut because she proclaimed to be so. The other girls had laughed, then tried to convince her to use another name. (Tina had offered up The Vain or The Dimwitted, but Marlene had promptly threw a pillow at her face.) Marlene then went on to explain that she took pride in being a slut and a tart, and that she had gallons of self esteem to go along with the insult. The other girls simply shrugged and gave in. Marlene usually got her way.

Alice was The Heart because she cared for everyone. She was funny, friendly, kind, and basically the poster child for "Most Trustworthy Friend". She loved everyone, although she wasn't a virgin to gossip. Everyone adored her, especially her steady boyfriend, Frank Longbottom.

Tina was The Brain for obvious reasons. She was deathly smart, both with her books and common sense. Along with that, she had a lightning quick wit and a sarcastic nature, something that usually threw people off, but somehow was endearing. When they had decided on The Brain, she had rolled her eyes at the new nickname, thanked the others for their unoriginality, then moved on to Lily.

Lily was The Brave. Her fiery temper and her persistent protectiveness of anyone she cared about helped her achieve the name, along with her calm nerves and strong will. (She was also given this name because she had vetoed Marlene's original nickname idea, The Prude.)

Thinking back on those names created for themselves (and never used again), Lily sighed into her mobile. "No, don't tell the girls about the lessons. I would rather have them hear it from me than from a second person."

"Fine. I'll go fetch them and bring them to you. You're at home, yeah?"

Lily sat up. "No Marlene! My parents are gone and they don't like me having people over while they're away!"

Marlene moaned. "God Lily, live a little will ya'? Is snot face around?"

Lily tried not to smirk, she really did. "Stop calling Petunia 'snot face'. You sound like a six year old."

"I'll stop when she stops calling me a filthy whore."

"But you told me that you don't care about other people's opinions." Lily mused, thinking back to The Slut.

"Yeah, but for your bitch of a sister I'll make an exception. Is she home or not?"

Lily glanced at the front door, almost expecting her older sister to barge in with an outstretched and accusing finger. "No. She's on a date with Vernon Dursley."

"_Vernon_?! Dear God, I hope the two of them don't reproduce. The world can only take so much stupidity."

Lily giggled. "I'm with you on that.:

"See? You don't need her." Marlene teased, even though the whole "Lily vs. Petunia" thing was ages ago. While the two sisters hadn't yet made up and become friends again, they were past the fighting stage, Now, they did what all teenage girls do when they hate another girl: loath in silence and from a distance, preferably with a small group of friends.

Marlene cleared her throat, demanding attention. "Since snot face isn't home, expect me and the girls in a half hour."

Lily was past protesting now. After seven years of being Marlene's friend, she knew when it did no good to argue.

"Fine, whatever. Just remember to text Potter's number, alright Marly?"

"I will, and don't call me Marly."

"Wouldn't dream of it…Marly."

"Dear Lord girl, you need to get laid already."

"You're disgusting."

"And you're a prude."

Lily smiled. "Slut."

"Tramp."

"Whore."

"Dumb ass."

"I love you too, Marlene."

"God Lily, you're so sentimental."

And the conversation ended there. Seconds later, Potter's number arrived, along with some links to several porn sites. (Lily didn't want to know. She just didn't. Her tolerance only went so far.)

And so, for the second time that day, Lily Evans found herself contacting James Potter outside of the halls of school. And for the first time in her life, she was the one who wanted to talk to him.

She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. She wasn't chatting him up for laughs and giggles; she was scolding him for telling Sirus about the piano lesson. Just thinking about it made Lily grit her teeth, and she typed out the message with the speed of a girl who's properly pissed at a boy.

Lily's message: _Is this Potter's phone?_

Lily waited a bit, staring at her mobile and biting her lip. When she got no reply, she sent out a few other messages.

_ I was given this number by Marlene McKinnon._

_ It's fine if you don't have time to talk._

_ This is Lily Evans by the way._

His response after the last text was immediate.

James's reply: **I always have time for you Evans. ;)**

Oh boy.

Lily grit her teeth, and prepared herself for a highly annoying text conversation.


	4. More Conversations With Idiots

A/N: Hi again! I'm having a lot of fun with this story, which is saying something. Usually the high of a new story has dwindled by this point, but this one is still going strong. I hope it lasts. Also, just a little tip, NEVER drink anything that your friends give you on April Fools day. You would think that I'd know that, but no. I can't feel my tongue still and….never mind.

** Warnings: **LOTS of swearing, sexual innuendos, and Sirus. (I feel as though he needs a warning.)

:

:

:

The following segment involves a texting conversation between Lily Evans and James Potter. Please note that all texts coming from Lily Evans will be in _italics _and all texts coming from James Potter will be in **bold**. Enjoy.

To say that James had been shocked when Lily Evans texted him would be an understatement He was, in all senses of the phrase, dumbfounded and shitfaced.

When he first received the texts, he ignored them. After all, the texter hadn't revealed their identity at the start.

The text: _Is this Potter's phone?_

He was lounging on his bed at the time he received the first text, goofing off on his laptop and digesting the dinner he had just eaten with his family and Sirus. He glanced at the message on his phone and rolled his eyes. Anyone who wasn't sure if they were texting James Potter wasn't worth talking to. After all, James was pretty popular (being a Marauder will do that do you) and it wasn't as if his mobile number was a carefully guarded secret. Practically half the student body of Hogwarts had him listed in their contacts. So, if this person was asking for confirmation of their text destination, then they were either boring or nervous, and James Potter did not have the time for boring nervous people. Thank you very much, have a pleasant day.

_ I was given this number by Marlene McKinnon._

That got his attention. Marlene and him weren't really friends, but she hung around Sirus and therefore hung around the Marauders. She was good for a laugh and was well known for her excellent parties, but James had always found her rather arrogant. (Which was saying a lot, coming from him.) Still, Sirus liked her, so James didn't complain.

As for the text, he now assumed that this person wasn't all that boring, if they knew Marlene McKinnon well enough to ask her for his number. Still, he didn't know who the texter was yet, and he was a bit busy at the moment. (If you consider fooling around on You Tube being busy.)

_ It's fine if you don't have time to talk_

That one made James snort. The person sounded as though they were texting a business man, or someone with a lot of power. He was James Potter for Christ's sake, not the British Prime Minister. Still, the person seemed as though they wanted to talk to him about something important, so James started to type out a response.

That's when the last text arrived, the text that blew his mind and almost made him drop his phone.

_ This is Lily Evans by the way._

Lily Evans. LILY EVANS.

James didn't think. He wasn't sure if he was even breathing. His fingers automatically deleted the response he had been typing, and tapped out a new one.

** I always have time for you Evans. ;)**

He stared in disbelief at his text, not understanding how he had been able to type while in shock. He felt strange, almost numb as the realization kicked in. Lily Evans was texting him. Lily friggin Evans was texting James friggin Potter.

He glanced out his window, making sure that the sun hadn't blown up or something, because if Lily Evans was texting him, that could only mean that the world was ending.

James re-read his flirtatious response to her, noticing how he had followed her rules and called her Evans instead of Lily. This had to be a joke; some sort of prank pulled by Sirus or Marlene or someone who hated him, because there was no way that Lily Evans would ever text him.

Unless she was being held at gunpoint.

Maybe.

Probably not.

Suddenly fearing for his own sanity (and perhaps Lily's safety) James re-read the text and his reply, marveling again at how he had been able to answer so quickly. Then again, after years of flirting with Lily, teasing her had become something of a second nature for James. After all, he never backed down from a challenge, and James prided himself in having a comeback for almost every conversation.

Still, doubt continued to creep into his mind. He wouldn't put it past Sirus to borrow a random phone and text James, pretending to be Lily. So, James quickly typed out another message.

** Who is this?**

He didn't have to wait long for a reply.

_ I just said that this is Lily Evans. You know, the girl who threw a soda in your face on the last day of school?_

James smirked, remembering the event. During the after school campus party, he had asked Lily to go with him to the Marauder's famous End of the School Year Bash. That had led to her saying no, which had led to him persisting, which led to her getting embarrassed, which led to him getting hopeful, which led to her getting ANGRY.

James had ended up leaving the school with soda dripping down his face. After that, he made a mental note to never approach Lily while she was carrying a liquid, or anything heavy.

Still, that didn't prove that the person was Lily Evans. Everyone knew about the soda, so the guessing game was still on.

** Knowing about the Soda Incident doesn't prove anything. Show me that you're Evans. Send me a pic.**

_ What?! No! I'm not sending you a picture!_

James smirked again.

_** For God's sake, it's not like I'm asking you for a naked pic or something, just proof that you're Evans.**_

James had to distract himself after that text, as the thought of sexting Lily Evans made the room spin a bit.

_ Why do you need proof? Can't you just believe me?_

** No.**

_ Why not?_

Jesus Christ, how dense was this person? This had to be the lamest attempt at a prank that James had ever seen.

** Because Lily Evans would never text me. So, who the hell is this?**

There was a long pause. After at least two minuets, James turned his attention back to his computer, figuring that the prankster had given up.

His phone buzzed again. When he picked it up, he was shocked to find a picture of Lily Evans looking up at him, smirking slightly. A text soon followed.

_ Do you believe me now?_

James fumbled with his phone, trying to remember how to type. He cursed his fingers, remembering how quickly they had responded earlier.

** Evans? This is really you?**

_ Duh._

James's face broke out into a wide grin. He adjusted his glasses and sat up on his bed, preparing for what he thought would never happen.

** Jeez Evans. I must have really did a number on you back at the music store.**

He could practically hear her scoff.

_ Get over yourself Potter. I'm only texting you because I'm pissed._

James's grin promptly disappeared. A pissed Evans was like a time bomb, which meant that he had to proceed with caution.

** Pissed? Are you sure that you're not just flustered?**

So much for caution. James felt like cutting off his fingers, or maybe throttling his brain. Honestly, he should know by now that flirting with a ticked off Lily was highly unhealthy for his physical being, no matter how far away she was.

However, her next text didn't seem too bad.

_ Nope, I'm pretty positive that I'm just pissed._

James took a deep breath, preparing himself.

** May I ask why?**

_ I'll give you three guesses._

Oh boy.

Now, James might not be the brightest tool in the box (or however the expression went), but he knew a thing or two about women. After all, he had dated enough to know when the "Danger!" light started to flash.

For example, if a bird every asks a bloke to guess why she's upset, that bloke can bet on his right ass cheek that she's pissed at him. The trick was figuring out what he did (even if it was absolutely nothing) and apologizing for it, preferably with chocolates and puppy dog eyes.

So, the timer on Lily the Time Bomb started to count down.

** Was it something I did earlier, during the lesson?**

James had a feeling that this had something to do with the piano lesson, which made him bit ticked off. He had acted like a perfect gentleman! Well, as much of a gentleman as a teenage boy could be when confronted with his crush in an enclosed space.

_ Nope. Guess again._

James couldn't help but grin. Honestly, he didn't really care that Lily was mad at him. She was texting him, and that was good enough for James. Plus, he was going to see her again next Saturday. If she was still mad at the next lesson, he would find a way to make her smile.

** Ok…was it something I said?**

Somehow, it was always something that James said. It didn't matter what girl was involved. He had a big mouth, and a brain that seemed hell bent on putting him into highly dangerous situations. Such as texting an angry Lily Evans.

_ Not exactly, but you're getting warmer. Last guess._

James bit his lip. _Come on Potter, think! _He took a deep breath. _Albright, let's look at what you know. Lily got your number from Marlene, which means that she must have spoken to her before texting me. _James frowned. Was it something that Marlene told Lily?

_ Hurry up Potter, clock's ticking…_

Shit. James's mind raced. So Marlene had talked to Lily and…what? Did she tell Lily something about him? What could Marlene say to Lily about him that would upset her? Better yet, what did Marlene know about him that could make Lily mad?

Oh SHIT. The piano lesson.

Sirus had probably told Marlene about it. James knew he was going to do it, he just didn't really think about it. Marlene and Lily were bosom buddies (a fact that still confused him) so _of course _Marlene would go straight to Lily after finding out about the lesson. And CRAP, Lily probably didn't want anyone to know about the lesson. It would ruin her reputation as The Girl Who Never Gives Into Potter.

James may be a lot of things. A troublemaker, a thief, arrogant, self absorbed, a prat, a jerk…

Alright, so he was a _lot _of things. But, he wasn't disrespectful. That was a line he never crossed, and he made sure to never truly tarnish a person's reputation during a prank. (With the exception of Snape and his pack, but those berks had it coming.)

So, when he discovered that he had given away the secret of the piano lessons, a secret that Lily probably wanted to keep, James felt like a total idiot. With a slight wince, he typed in his text.

** Marlene knew about the piano lesson, right?**

_ Bingo! We have a winner!_

James almost groaned out loud.

_** Aw crap Evans, I'm sorry. I told Sirus about it and I wasn't thinking.**_

James read his message, getting a strong feeling of dechavu. How many times had he ended an argument with "I wasn't thinking"? Too many times to count, that's for sure.

_ Yeah, I kinda figured that._

** If it helps, I'll make him promise not to tell anyone else.**

_ And he'll agree to that?_

** Sure. Sirus is a prat, but he's my best mate. He won't tell anyone if I don't want him to.**

There was another long pause.

_ But, wouldn't you want him to?_

James frowned.

** What do you mean?**

_ I would think that you would want to tell people. You know, show off._

He smirked.

** Why Ms. Evans! Do you really think that poorly of me?**

_ Do I really have to answer?_

** Nah, I know you love me.**

_ Newsflash: I don't._

** Deep down.**

_ Nope._

** Like, really deep down.**

_ Only in your dreams, Potter._

James grinned, his answer to that one having been repeated time and time again.

** You're always in my dreams Evans. ;)**

He got no reply after that, which was just as well. James still couldn't get over the fact that Lily Evans texted him. He smiled down at his mobile like a loony, feeling happier than ever.

Until Sirus waltzed in.

"Hey Prongs, we better get ready." His best mate said in his usual bored drawl. "Moony and Wormtail are waiting for us."

James glanced up at Sirus. His friend was dressed in his Night Out wear: ragged jeans, his leather motorbike jacket, and a dark tee-shirt with some obscure band name. His hair was tousled up in an attractive fashion that James could never hope to copy, and he wore his usual smirk that promised fun (and most likely illegal) times to come.

James turned back to his phone. "Alright. I'll be with you in a moment."

Sirus frowned. "Did you forget or something?"

"No."

"…alright, who you texting?"

James threw him a glare, and angled his mobile so that Sirus couldn't see the screen. "No one."

"Bull shit. Let's have a look." Sirus stepped forward.

James scooted away. "I said no!"

Sirus glared at him, then leapt into a tackle. He made a grab for the phone, but James pulled it out of his reach. The two boys tousled for a moment before the mobile was knocked to the ground.

Sirus pounced on it, holding it up in a victory stance. "Ah HA!"

James leapt to his feet. "Hand it over!"

Sirus laughed and jumped out of his reach, scrolling through the messages on the screen. He suddenly stopped, his eyes widening. He looked at James, then back at the mobile, then back at James. "Bloody hell, were you texting who I think you were texting?"

James, having had enough, marched forward and grabbed his phone. "That's my business."

Sirus's face slowly started to break into a grin. "That was Evans, wasn't it? You were texting Lily Evans."

James felt his face grow warm, though he couldn't imagine why. "Shut up…" He mumbled.

Sirus let out a loud crow, a gleeful smile on his face. "Prongs, you sly bastard! Let me see what you said!"

"No!" James took a step back, holding the mobile high above his head.

Sirus furrowed his eyebrows. "No? Why the hell not?"

James frowned, face pink. "Because you…I…well…because it was a PRIVATE conversation!" He stuttered.

Sirus raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest. "A private conversation?" He looked James up and down. "Pull down your trousers."

"I don't-WHAT?!"

"I want to see if you've grown a vagina."

James rolled his eyes, turning away.

Sirus snorted. "Really Prongs? A private conversation? What could you two have possibly been talking about that was so _private?"_

James shoved his phone in his pocket, remembering that he was cross with Sirus. "Actually, we talked a lot about you." He threw him a glare.

Sirus raised his eyebrows. "Me?"

"Yeah." James pointed an accusatory finger at him. "I told you not to tell Marlene about the lessons."

Sirus frowned for a moment before his eyes widened in realization. He burst out laughing, screwing his eyes up tight as he held his chest in over exaggerated snorts.

James rolled his eyes, waiting for the idiot to calm down. "It's not funny, you cock."

Sirus pretended to wipe tears from his eyes. "It's hilarious, really. I haven't laughed that hard in ages. Christ Prongs, you crack me up."

"'Eff off."

Sirus's arrogant smirk returned. It was different than James's smirk, which was all about humor and pride. Sirus had a way of portraying a sense of self confidence and power in his body language. Everything about him screamed "I'm sexy as shit, and I'm well aware of it." It was a turn on for most people (girls mostly), but it did get on one's nerves.

Personally, James hated the arrogance. Oh sure, he himself pranced around like a grand stallion on a daily basis, but he didn't need to do that in front of Sirus. He didn't need to prove anything to his best mate, and vice a versa. Sirus and James put on a show for the outsiders, sometimes even for Remus and Peter, but never for each other.

So, James hated that arrogant smirk when it was just him and Sirus, especially since he knew that it was a lie. Sirus may talk big and walk with a wide stride, but he was actually insecure and wounded on the inside (as emotionally shit filled as that sounds). It all had something to do with his family, something that Sirus tried very hard to keep secret. James knew that. Remus did too, though they never talked about it. They let Sirus put on his act because it was easier for him to lie, Pain was not easily dealt with, so James didn't bring it up because he didn't want to hurt his friend.

That and he didn't want to look like the world's biggest girl.

The sight of Sirus's smirk made James's anger flare. "Don't tell anyone else about it."

The smirk started to wilt. "What do you mean?"

"I mean _don't tell anyone about it."_ James hissed through gritted teeth, trying to get his message through his mate's thick skull.

The smirk, now fully gone, was replaced with a sneer. "When did you turn into such an ass hole?"

"When did you turn into such a dick?!"

"Oh, so I'M the dick?!"

"Yeah, you're the dick!"

Sirus threw his hands in the air, going into bitch mode. "The hell is wrong with you?! The James that I know would want to tell everyone that he's shagging Evans in a piano closet!"

James's face changed to a darker shade of pink. "We're not shagging."

"What, is that why you don't want to tell anyone?"

"So Sirus, I…" James growled, running a hand through his hair. "…She doesn't want anyone to know, alright? I'm respecting her wishes." He ground out, feeling more embarrassed than ever.

Sirus seemed just as shocked as him. He opened his mouth to say something, but James cut him off.

"Look, you should know by now that I have a sore spot for Evans. Laugh at it all you want, but I actually care about her and her feelings."

Sirus raised his eyebrow.

"Shut up, you know I do. I just have a…round about way of showing it. So, just do me a favor and try not to mess this up for me. I can do that by myself."

Sirus stared at him for a moment. "Is that why she texted you."

James could do nothing but nod.

Sirus nodded back. "Ok. You're welcome."

"Wha-? For WHAT?!"

Sirus smiled, wiggling his eyebrows. "For giving you two lovebirds something to talk about."

James smiled a bit and pushed him off to the side. "Shut up."

"Bitch."

"Dick."

"You love her, you pathetic pansy."

"Knock it off." James reached for his coat, ignoring Sirus.

"James loves a ginger. Sigh. You know they don't have souls, right?"

"So you've told me…"

Sirus cocked his head, pretending to think. "That's right, I did. I believe that we were twelve at the time, and it was the first day of school. Evans walked into the room, your jaw hit the floor, and I tried to save you." He let out a dramatic sigh. "But, alas, the bitch caught you."

James brushed past his friend with a sigh, pulling on his jacket. "Stop reminiscing, you sound like my mother."

Sirus grinned. "Yes, where is your lovely mother today?"

James rolled his eyes. Sirus had this on-going joke where he would flirt with James's mother, something that James found highly disturbing. Sirus knew it too.

"You know, I'm thinking of inviting her to dinner." Sirus taunted as they headed towards the front door of the house. "Should I make it a black tie occasion?"

"Sod off."

"Now James, what would your mother think if she heard you using that tone with me?"

"She would think you got off easy." James opened the door, spying Sirus's motorbike in the front driveway. He noticed something weird about it, and focused on the thing attached to it. His eyes widened when he realized it was a side car.

Sirus followed his gaze, smiling a bit. "Yeah, I had to attach a little bumper seat for you. Can't have you straddling me from the behind, people might talk."

James grumbled under his breath. "What, and you care about what people say?"

Sirus rolled his eyes. "Hush up Mr. PMS. I won't tell anyone else about the piano lesson, alright? Now quit your bitching and get in the side car."

James huffed and grumbled his way over to the bike, finding a helmet in the seat of the little car. The thing was small and James was big, so he had to pull his knees up to his chest when he sat down.

Sirus got on the bike, smiling down at him. "You look great."

"I look like a bloody idiot."

"You always look like a bloody idiot."

James threw him another glare. "Piss off."

"Sure. We better hurry, it's getting dark." Sirus commented, putting on his helmet.

James squinted up at the darkening sky, adjusting his glasses as he did so. The moon would be out soon. "Right. Let's go."

Sirus's bike roared to life, and they peeled out of the driveway. Sirus laughed and James grimaced, trying his best to hold onto the side of the little car.


End file.
